I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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