worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
