i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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