So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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