Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
