Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
