no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
