doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
