i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
