There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hippo gnu deer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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