Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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