This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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