How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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