Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
