I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This toilet bowl is my home.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
