It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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