WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
