whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it's great music for shaving your balls
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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