That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize