He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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