What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
