Banned from zoo.
Again?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
