basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
