yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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