just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
