..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
