Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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