The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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