I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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