He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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