Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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