He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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