wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
