Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
