If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pants are for mortals
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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