Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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