I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I could fuck to npr.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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