I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
