Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
