Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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