I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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