YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
only if we run a train.
done.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
