This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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