Me too!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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