The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
