i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
