Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize