puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's rum buckets o'clock
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
