Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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