I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
