I want to stick my p in your. b.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
