To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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