She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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