We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
