the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
