By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
