its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
