guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
