Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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