I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
