You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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