his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
