so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
