Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
