Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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