I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
