Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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