he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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