Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
