Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
