Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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