So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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