remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
