i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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