im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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