You're my little dorito
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
